Raising Your Kids Bilingually

In my opinion, one of the most beautiful gifts with which you can grow up is being raised bilingually, whether it be having parents who have two separate mother tongues, or parents who share the same mother tongue. In my case, I grew up with Colombian parents who started speaking to me in Spanish since the day in which I was born. Many of my friends have been surprised to find out that I did not start learning English until I was three years old, mostly by watching television shows, and by having American friends in pre-school.

My parents played music, bought me books, and read to me in Spanish. They taught me the most important Christian prayers, introduced us to our family members at a young age, watched movies, and watched television series in Spanish. All of these simple activities are activities that you do in your everyday life, which shows how easy it is to raise your children bilingually, especially in the United States, where you have access to many books, music, television series, movies, and other items in other languages. Due to globalization, you can buy almost anything in another language if you feel that you do not have enough resources, or toys for your children in your mother tongue right around the corner.

Most importantly, my parents were never ashamed of being immigrants, of being Colombians in the United States, or of speaking Spanish to their children. It was a normal everyday occurrence for me that I will forever treasure, especially now that I have many friends who did not have this opportunity growing up. Having connections to my family, and communicating with my parents in Spanish gave me strong enough reasons to never resent this ability, and made my overall learning experience more special, and meaningful. I associate Spanish with my family, and with many of my bilingual friends growing up. It has also helped me set myself apart from many of my classmates, and has strengthened many of my friendships with other Hispanics who shared similar experiences growing up.

Although I do not have experience as a parent, I wanted to share my personal experiences of how my parents raised my sister and I, as well as share some reasons why I believe that it is a shame that some bilingual parents do not raise their children bilingually. Below, I will give you simple solutions to solving some of the most common problems that I have noticed many bilingual parents make with my friends, or acquaintances. In many cases, it is resentment, or conforming to societal norms that shies many parents away from doing this, but may also result from the popular belief that raising your children bilingually will end up causing more harm than good, primarily because it “confuses your children”, and “slows their progress in the language of the country in which they live.”

There is no doubt that some of these myths are true on a case by case basis; however, I believe that if you start to speak your mother tongue to your children from the very beginning, you will end up with very satisfying results: children who can comfortably switch from one language to another. You should only speak to them in your mother tongue, and avoid using the language of the country in which you live as much as possible, so that your children do not think that they can, or should respond to you in that language. For example, my parents never spoke to me in English, and have only started to say certain words in English until recently (since they have lived in this country for over two decades). This never gave me the assumption that they spoke English well, or that they should simply use English instead of Spanish when speaking with them.

I will give you a short list of some of the most common mistakes, and how you can fix them:

1. Giving Up Speaking Your Mother Tongue to Your Children After Several Years

There have been many people that I have met throughout my life who have told my family that they spoke their mother tongue to their children until, let’s say age three, and then decided to only speak to them in English. One of the most common reasons is, because their children would often respond to them in English, which made the parents feel offended, or frustrated. In this particular case, what ends up often happening, is that the parents give up, and start incorporating more English, and less of their mother tongue as the years pass by. Although it can be a lot of work at times, I encourage you to find friends, or talk to people who have successfully raised their children bilingually, or who are trying to do so. In this respect, you will have emotional and moral support, and can get tips from parents who have already experienced what it is like to raise children bilingually, and can learn more about the benefits that it can give your children.

2. Not Speaking to Your Children in your Mother Tongue Because It Will Confuse Them

Despite the fact that some research has shown that this is sometimes the case, one of the easiest ways to avoid this from happening is by only speaking to your children in your mother tongue from the start. For example, if your children speak English in school, and with their friends, but speak Spanish with their parents, they will eventually separate the two languages, because different parts of their brains will associate specific sounds, and words for each language. If you find that your children are having a hard time distinguishing the two, and mixing them up, you can put them in language classes (ex: Chinese School, or take them to French lessons at a nearby institution for children).

If you are lucky enough to live in an area that has bilingual schools, then that is an even better option, and will allow your children to have a complete immersive experience in both languages. In my case, I went to a bilingual elementary school for Spanish and English, and had all of my subjects in both languages. This allowed me to have a strong foundation in reading, writing, speaking, understanding, vocabulary, and grammar in both (feel free to read my blog post titled "5 Benefits of Bilingualism: Why You Should Be Bilingual" if you want to read more). You can also have playgroups if you are lucky to have friends who also speak your mother tongue. Playgroups are groups with parents who have children who speak the same language. I went to playgroups for Spanish when I was little, and was able to speak to my friends in Spanish in a fun environment: through play, which did not feel like work to me.

3. “My Partner Does Not Speak my Mother Tongue, so I will not speak it to my Children”

This point is very complex, and a bit trickier than the first two, but there are still ways to successfully get around it. For example, if you have a dad who is a native French speaker, and a mom who is a native Spanish speaker, the most ideal situation is that the child is spoken to in both French and in Spanish. How you would best go about this situation is by having your children speak to their dad in French, and to their mom in Spanish. If the children speak to both parents at the same time, you can compromise in several ways. 

If you live in the United States, where English is spoken, you can have your children speak to you in English, or you can choose either one of your mother tongues. This situation may sound confusing, and you may think that it could confuse your children by having them speak three languages at once, but many parents have done so with little to no problems. I had a friend growing up who spoke French to her dad, Spanish to her mom, and English with everyone else, and is considered trilingual. This would give your children an even bigger advantage in life.

    4. Wanting to Conform to Societal Norms and Speaking Your Country’s Language

It can be very tempting to not want to speak to your children in your mother tongue, especially if you are a first or a second generation individual, or if you are mostly surrounded by families who only speak the language of the country in which you live. You may be afraid that you are not going to fit in, that you are going to be looked down upon, or that you will have a harder taking making friends if you spend most of your time speaking your mother tongue instead of the other language. Believe me, it is hard, and there are many excuses that could discourage you from doing so. However, you should try to resist any temptations, even if you are the only family in your neighborhood who speaks your mother tongue. 

If you are afraid of being discriminated against, you can decide to switch to another language in uncomfortable situations, but retain speaking to your children in your mother tongue elsewhere, especially at home. You can also gain support from your family, friends, or neighbors who have a love for, or who speak that common language. The gift that your children would receive would be much more rewarding than throwing it down the drain simply because you, as a parent, were too afraid of doing so.

5. “I am not a native speaker of [language], so I cannot speak to my children in [language]”

This point is interesting to bring up, because it is oftentimes not mentioned. There is a common belief that you can only raise your children bilingually if you, and or if you, and your partner speak a common language as a native speaker. If you classify yourself as a bilingual speaker, or as someone who speaks more than one language fluently (most likely the national language(s) of the country in which you live), you are just as qualified as, or more qualified than native speakers of a language. 

Oftentimes, individuals who group themselves into either of these categories have lived in countries where their languages are spoken, have studied abroad, or have done intense language study. If this is the case, then you can speak to your children in the language in which you are fluent, and continue improving in it. Even if you do not know as many words, or idiomatic expressions as a native speaker, you are still capable of easily expressing yourself in another language, and can elaborately express yourself in it. Raising your children bilingually would allow them to develop a passion for language learning early on, because they would find out that their parent(s) decided to dedicate a lot of time into becoming fluent in another language, or becoming a bilingual individual.

Whether you are a current parent, a future parent, a bilingual speaker, or a speaker who speaks more than one language fluently, you have all of the resources, and all of the knowledge that you need in order to raise your children bilingually. As I mentioned above, you do not have to be a native speaker of more than one language in order to do so. If you take away one point from this blog post, it will be that it is important to think twice about why you are considering never teaching your children your mother tongue, (or another language), or stopping yourself from doing so after a while. 

5 Benefits of Bilingualism: Why You Should Be Bilingual

No matter who you are, or how you were raised, it is possible that you can become a bilingual individual. Despite the fact that it is easier to become one if you start speaking two languages at a native level at a young age, anyone can eventually seek the benefits of bilingualism (an ability that can not only set you apart from your friends, or from your classmates, but that can also put you at a huge advantage professionally, and personally).

Although there are many advantages of being bilingual, such as being fluent in two languages, and knowing how to acquire more than one at the same time, I am going to focus this blog post on advantages that I have personally experienced throughout my life. Before jumping into the nitty gritty, I will briefly give you my background when growing up.

I am a first generation Colombian-American who had the privilege of attending a bilingual elementary school from kindergarten up through fifth grade. According to the Encyclopedia of Children’s Health, bilingualism is defined as “the ability to communicate in two different languages” and bilingual education as “the use of two different languages in classroom instruction.” For all six years of elementary school, all of my subjects (Math, History, and Science) were taught in both Spanish, and in English. This meant that I was able to read, write, speak, and understand two languages at a native level. I learned how to write, perform math questions, think, reason, and express myself easily in both languages. I experienced two different identities: my Colombian-self, and my American-self.

I had teachers from many Latin-American countries, and from all over the United States. I learned my numbers past two thousand in first-grade, could recite them in both languages, and could write at the same level in Spanish as a student from another Latin-American country could. What does this all mean? Does it mean that I am smarter, or that I am more capable of reasoning than others? The answers to both of these questions is not necessarily, but I can comfortably say that I can easily immerse myself in two different worlds, due to the fact that I have always been bilingual. Fast-forwarding to today, I text my parents in Spanish making few grammatical mistakes, can call my grandparents who live in Colombia, and can identify myself as both Colombian, and American.

Benefits of Bilingualism:


1. Learning Many Words Easily

One of the most impactful benefits of my ability to think and reason has been my ability to learn vocabulary in multiple languages in a short amount of time. For example, in my current Italian class, we have to learn between 70-100 words twice a week, which is a lot to memorize. However, since I have a strong basis in Spanish, and have worked my way towards having a strong foundation in it, it does not take me nearly as long to memorize many words as it does for my classmates. When I have a new word to learn, I automatically think of its equivalent in Spanish, and it oftentimes ends up being the same word, or a similar word. In this respect, I have a relatively large vocabulary in both Spanish and in English.


2. Making Friends From Around the World

An indirect benefit that I have noticed because of bilingualism are the strong friendships that I have made from many Spanish, and English-speaking countries. Although you can have strong relationships with others if you do not speak their mother-tongues, it is harder to have a personal connection with them that goes beyond talking about everyday-life topics. What I mean by this is that, if you speak Spanish to an Argentinian whose English is not great, you will be able to use mannerisms, expressions, and idiomatic expressions that will help your relationship become stronger over time. You will also be aware of cultural norms, and what is appropriate to do, or to say in certain situations. Through the speaking of Spanish, and of English, you will learn about the cultures that speak those languages. In other words, you can kill two birds with one stone.


3. Being A Good Problem-Solver

Even though I am only nineteen, I have been in many confusing, and in uncomfortable situations throughout my life, but have managed to come up with creative, and interesting solutions to many of them. If I cannot remember how to say something in Spanish, or vice-versa, then I think of its equivalent in the other language, and either directly translate, or think of its translation in my head before saying the first words that come to mind. This has been helpful when I have had conversations with Latin-Americans whose English, or whose Spanish was not proficient. I have babysat, tutored, and have helped others understand what others are saying in both languages, and can switch from one to the other without having to translate everything that I want to say before saying it. I have also dreamt in both languages. Due to my knowledge of Latin-America, the United States, and Latinos, I have thought about what is culturally appropriate, and what others would do in certain situations before making decisions, which gives me many options from which to choose.


4. Being a Good Listener

This benefit may sound strange at first, but let me give you a little bit of explanation. Since I have been caught, and have grown up in two worlds (Colombian/Hispanic, and American), I have had to communicate, solves problems in, and learn about many countries. Many of those with whom I have spoken have been immigrants, international students, or other first-generation individuals. I know what it is like to feel discriminated against, left out, or confused, because I sometimes cannot remember a word in one of the two languages. There are words, and expressions that cannot be translated literally, or that do not exist in the other language, but aside from that, I have also grown up with opinions, suggestions, and advice from two different cultures. Because of all of these experiences, I am patient with others, and know how to calm others whenever they are frustrated. I enjoy hearing others’ experiences, and have had many long conversations with individuals who have had similar experiences to mine. This has allowed me to be a more open-minded, respectful, cultured, and tolerant individual.


5.  Connecting with Others (Ex: With your Family)

As I have already indirectly said, you cannot speak a language well without knowing its culture. I will forever be grateful for the opportunity of attending a school that gave me a true immersion bilingual experience. Through it, I met other first-generation Hispanics from many countries, and many Americans who loved, and were fascinated with Latin-America. We bonded with one ability: speaking in two languages, and learning about many cultures. Our conversations were intellectual, interesting, and varied due to the various socioeconomic, cultural, and ethnic backgrounds that my classmates had. I have also become closer with my grandparents, with my parents, and with the rest of my family over the years, because we share a special gift: Spanish. Despite the fact that we live in three different countries, and in several states, the distance that separates us only separates us physically, but not emotionally. We will always have a special bond that will allows us to update each other through social media, and through calls.

If you are not bilingual right now, I hope that you are convinced that it is something worth investing your time in. Bilingualism opens up many doors to having strong relationships with others, physically, emotionally, and even spiritually. The world is at your hands, and you are unstoppable.