Switching Languages : April 2018

Hello, everyone and welcome back to my blog! I wanted to start off by apologizing for not posting on here for almost a month, but am happy to finally post an update about what I have been up to for the past three weeks.

(Posing in front of this surreal view in Ebolowa, southern Cameroon).

Unlike my first three study-abroad posts, this one is going to be a little more vulnerable and transparent, as I have been feeling very ill ever since I last posted my two-month update of my semester abroad here in Yaoundé, Cameroon. Though I have experienced a lot of personal growth during my semester here in Cameroon, my health has slowly declined. I have had severe stagnant and static migraines for several weeks and have felt out of sorts for almost a full month. Unfortunately, my constant migraines and headaches have led to dizziness, nausea, and insomnia, all of which have affected my mood, overall well-being, and energy levels.

Because of this, my dad and I decided to reach out to my neurologist back at home by describing all of my recent symptoms a few weeks ago. Before coming to Cameroon, we set up an appointment with her, as my headaches and migraines had gotten significantly worse, so that we could try to take the necessary precautions to try to make my stay as enjoyable as possible. She very kindly responded to our emails and gave me a “last option” for treatment, which essentially consisted of a 24-hour lockdown in darkness and intensive treatment. Unfortunately, this did not work. Come to think of it, it would have been very difficult to wrap my mind around the fact that my migraines could become even worse while abroad, but that is exactly what happened.

After trying everything possible to stabilize my situation, I am afraid that my body can no longer withstand the heat and the humidity in this tropical country. Many prayers and tears later, it is with great sadness that I will be taking a medical leave of absence during the rest of the spring 2018 semester. Our program does not end until late June, so I thought that it would be best to finish up 2 of my courses online and to rest. My hope is to recover back home in Pittsburgh where I will be in a more favorable climate and familiar environment and will be closer to my neurologist, my parents, and my grandmother who lives with us. My parents agree in that my Cameroonian environment has likely worsened my migraines, so they were on board with my decision. If everything works out well, I will be flying out of Yaoundé this coming Thursday, April 19th and will arrive at home after a 28 hour journey.

I still remember being a young girl dreaming of studying in western Africa. All I could have ever hoped for were 5 months of being healthy and happy, but, eventually, my body took a toll on itself. Although I was not able to finish my semester abroad, I am proud to have been in Cameroon for almost 3 full months and will always hold Yaoundé and this beautiful country in a special place in my heart. I had a host family who has supported me in every decision I have made and who has pushed me out of my comfort zone more than I could have ever imagined. When I told my host mom, my host sisters, and my host brother that I have to leave their country, they cried at home, so I am beyond grateful for every moment of adventure I have had with them. They have already told me just how much my presence at will be dearly missed: my smile, my laugh, my good humor, and my contagious happiness.

Cameroon: I will miss the constant laughter, the slower space of life, Cameroonian and African music being played everywhere at all hours of the day, piment and the local cuisine (beignets, rice and beans, ndolé, and chicken in every form to name a few), the overall vibe of people here, and just how friendly everyone is. I have never seen more personal, physical, and emotional growth than in my time spent here. I have learned how to take bucket showers, how to ration water, how to prepare homemade meals that take an entire day to prepare, how to spend time without power, and even how to cook on a gas stove with my lovely Dickinson friends, but, most importantly, I have become a better and more humble version of the person I aspire to be.

Although it may not seem like it, studying abroad is not always daisies and roses. In fact, you will go through so many mixed emotions as the weeks go by, but all of this only makes you stronger. When others have asked me how I feel about leaving this country, I smile and tell them just how impactful this experience has been. I am stronger; I am bolder, and I much more aware of what life is like for so many in a continent that is so unknown in the US.

🌍.

There are no words to describe just how special this place is and how much it breaks my heart to leave it so soon, but as Cameroonians would say: "ça va aller" and "on est ensemble", which roughly translate to "it will be okay" and "I will see you soon." Though I am unsure about what the next months that lie ahead for me will look like, I pray for peace and for my body and health to be restored.

As most of my loved ones have told me, it takes so much strength and courage to share this online and even more-so to put your health first, but here I am sharing this with the world in hopes to inspire others to not be ashamed of who they are and of what they experience, both good and bad. Aside from that, taking a leave of absence is one of the boldest decisions you can make as a college student if that is what comes down to it to be healthier and happier.

Thank you to every single person who reached out to me during this difficult time and who supported me in making this decision. Thank you to our incredible Teku’s Ten Buckets (our Dickinson in Cameroon Spring 2018 crew), to our incredible program director, Teku, and to Adolph who made my stay so enjoyable. Thank you to my host family who I will miss dearly and with whom I will always keep in touch, and to everyone who prayed for me throughout this crazy journey. I will always cry tears of joy and not of sadness as I leave a city and a country I have calmed my new home. À la prochaine, Yaoundé et le Cameroun.

(Pasta that my host sisters and I made).

(One of the most incredible meals of my life: Senegalese rice, beef, and vegetables).

(Listening to Malian music on TV).

(A delicious meal in Kribi: spiced chicken with onions, fish, rice, vegetables, and bread).

(A short video of what the beach that was next to our hotel in Kribi looks like).

(Being by the beach in Kribi was such a blessing).

(Senegalese beef with french fries, plantains, and peas).

(A snapchot of scenery on our car-ride to Ebolowa).

(A short video showing what parts of Ebolowa look like).

(Our cabin in Ebolowa).

(My friend Selena made a new friend!)

(Local wall art overlooking Ebolowa).

(A mysterious tree that has kept on growing for over 100 years).

(A couple sitting on a boat overlooking this view).

(Look at how beautiful this trees' reflections are).

(Chicken with onions, sweet plantains, rice, potatoes, and fish with a spicy sauce in Ebolowa).

(Selfie time!)

(I was left speechless seeing this view).

(More nature photography).

(The path that eventually led to our hotel).

(Our new friend before leaving it).

(It looks like I blended into the scenery).

(Our incredible program director: Teku and worker Adolph and I).

(Selena and I behind this gorgeous view).

(The meal that awaited us at the apartment prepared by our Dickinson workers Becky and Solange: beans, white, a veggie sauce, french fries, chicken, and watermelon).